English Jumper, National Shame
February 22nd 2008 03:09
I suppose the first and most obvious issue is his motives. What were they? It is my understanding that the British Olympic Diving Committee's Chairman was nowhere near Darling Harbour yesterday, so competitive reasons can be ruled out. No. I rather think he was trying to impress his friends in the wackiest way he knew how. I hate 'wacky' at the best of times, but when it's done in the name of showmanship it really is pathetic.
Secondly, I'm a Pom and when I hear about a tourist making a fool of himself around Sydney I immediately presume that they are a Pom (or at least British) too. My presumption is rarely proven incorrect and this time was no exception. Upon hearing about the jumper and his nationality I literally winced with embarrassment. I don't know the man or any of the idiots egging him on, but I am proud to be an Englishman in Australia and, as such, despise those who perpetuate the 'English Yob' stereotype. The behaviour of some of my fellow countrymen, once they're away from their home turf, quite genuinely, borders on sociopathic.
Let's also remember that this wasn't in the early hours of the morning, this was in the afternoon. How much alcohol could he seriously have consumed? It is one thing to drag my country's good name through the mud by acting like a simpleton, but it's quite another to display such poor staying power that you're home and in bed for 6pm. I mean, come on.
Some might say I'm making a mountain from a mole hill - nobody really got hurt and besides he's on holiday and he's entitled to have a good time and be a little excessive. Fine. Enjoy yourself, drink, laugh and be merry. But please don't make a complete tit of yourself, embarrassing yourself, your family, your friends and, worst of all, me. In the history of Englishness, I have no idea when having a few jars of the amber nectar in a pleasant and social setting, suddenly turned into drinking until you vomit blood, start a fight, and jump off a bridge.
Let's hope that next time he takes on an even bigger challenge... say the top of the Sydney Tower?
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